Reason for Denying Difference Number Four: Male Vanity

Male vanity is one of most obvious reasons why some people, usually men, deny that women and men feel differently about sex

To put  it simply, it is flattering for a man to imagine that women lust after him just as he lusts after women.

Or, to put it another way, it is humbling for a man to admit that what women feel for him is quite different from what he feels for them.

Male vanity, like The Entertainer's Temptation, is one of the oldest reasons in the book for denying the differences between women's and men's feelings about sex.  Also like The Entertainer's Temptation, it was once relatively harmless tendency, often humorous, forming the basis for many dirty jokes. But today, when combined with so many other reasons for denying difference, it does cause harm. See my post Why Acknowledging Difference Matters for further  explanation.   

This form of denial is particularly harmful when young men (and often not-so-young men) brag to each other about their supposed success with women--usually in the guise of the most casual conversation, of course.  Again, this kind of thing is as old as the hills, but back when the differences between women's and men's feelings about sex were more widely accepted, it was far easier to recognize boasting as boasting.

Today, with so many people denying difference for so many different reasons, silly Don Juan stories can seem very real, even when they are exaggerated or altogether false.  The rejections, snubs, disapproval, and downright indifference that men must face when searching for a mate is hard enough already.  We make it that much harder by giving credence to stories that were once rightly confined to boys' night out.