In yesterday's post, "The Entertainer's Temptation," I wrote about how artists, especially storytellers, often portray women who behave like men because such depictions have an inherent entertainment value: they provide an escape from everyday life where women behave quite differently.
Today I will focus on another reason for denying difference, the fear of appearing naive.
To put it simply, anyone who dares to admit that women feel and think differently about sex than men do puts himself in danger of being accused of naivete.
In our television shows, our films, and our novels, anyone who believes that women tend to want love and commitment with their sex--that is, anyone who admits the truth of sexual difference--is portrayed as an innocent, or a fool.
The reality of our daily lives is different. Most of us know there is a very big difference between the way women and men feel when it comes to sex, and our actions are determined by this knowledge.
Women are on their guard against men who are after "one thing." And though many men would be happy (not to mentioned flattered) to encounter a woman who wants no-strings-attached sex, these men keep generally keep this fantasy a secret, or admit it only in a joking way, to avoid giving offense, and especially to avoid being thought of as pigs.
In the same way men are on their guard against women who want commitment.
This is the sexual reality we in.
Today's popular fantasy of sexual sophistication requires everyone to deny this reality and pretend that women and men feel the same. Anyone who admits the truth of difference threatens to undermine the fantasy. The most effective way to eliminate this threat is to accuse him or her of being a fool or, more generously, too innocent to know the ways of the world.
We live in a culture that rewards naivete as sophistication and denounces knowledge as innocence. Anyone with sense enough to recognize the sham is compelled to keep his or her mouth shut.
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