Stating the Obvious: Men Want Sex, Women Want Love

Women and men are different--different in their desires, their needs, their way of seeing, their expectations of others and themselves.  I'm stating the obvious, but we're living in a culture that denies difference and embraces a myth of sameness, and so stating the obvious, unfortunately,  has become necessary.

One of the most important of these differences is that men want sex, women want love.

I am not saying that men never want love. (Of course we want love.) Nor am I saying the women do not want sex. (They do want sex, thank God.)

What I AM saying is that most men want sex in a way that women have a hard time imagining. We want more of it, with as many different partners as possible, in as many different ways as possible. 

Women, on the other hand, want love that (usually) includes a certain amount of sex.

Already I can hear the protests:

"But that's stereotypical thinking."

"What a cliche!"

"You are so naive."

"Obviously you need to get laid."

And so on.

Yet most men know what I have just said is true. They may not admit it's true, to avoid the accusations I have just listed, along with many others, but they know.

Most women refuse to admit this difference even to themselves. Oh, they know deep down that  the difference is real. They must deal with that difference if they live with men at all. (Though many women, confronted with this difference, choose not to live with men at all).   On some level, women know. They just don't want to hear it.

And under ordinary circumstances I would not ask women to hear it.  To point out this sort of difference is, after all, rude.

But we are not living under ordinary circumstances.  We are are living in an age of denial.

Why do so many deny this difference exists? Why do they insist on a make-believe sameness?

There are many reasons. I will talk about them in future posts.