Reason for Denying Difference Number Five: the Fear of Being Thought "Victorian," a "Puritan," a "Prude," or a "Hypocrite."

The words "Victorian," "Puritan," "hypocrite," and "prude" are thrown around pretty carelessly these days.

I won't try to explain how the Victorians were far more sexually sophisticated than they are generally given credit for.

Nor will I go into how in a culture that denies its own sense of sexual propriety, as ours does, the so-called "prudes" may be the ones facing our sexual reality.

There would be no point in going into all of that, because the standard definitions of each of these words are being set aside. They are used instead as blunt accusations, much like "Fascist" is used by left-wing people or "Commie" used to be used by the right. Little if any regard is being given to the actual meanings of these words. 

"Victorian," "Puritan," "hypocrite," and "prude," are just ugly names to call  non-believers. 

Though each word still often carries a vague connotation, they are used synonymously. Roughly, they are taken to mean: you know that women and men feel the same about sex but won't admit it because you're too weak or squeamish or ridiculous. You are in denial, et cetera. 

Like all name-calling, the use of these words reveals more about the accuser than the accused.
 
The accusers want to believe in the illusion of sameness even if (especially if) their day-to-day lives prove that it is false. They know how fragile their illusion is. They know that with even casual examination, the illusion may fall apart. 

If they dismiss doubters by calling them "Victorian," "Puritan," "hypocrite," or "prude," they protect their faith.

Those who acknowledge that women and men are different generally have the sense to be wary of   fanaticism. They know better than to attempt to argue with people who are determined to believe.  And so they keep their mouths shut. The myth of sameness goes on unquestioned and growing in popularity.